Two Hearts
by SoftNoodle
Summary: [Hiatus] CU. SessKag. Kagome had been taken by Sesshoumaru and is now to be returned to her home. She is forced to leave behind something important. In order to ensure it's safety, though, she does something that will affect everyone around her.
1. Ch 1: Prologue

SM: I'm still alive. I've just been really busy and lazy and I have more excuses in my profile. Now...FEAR MY CRAPPY SUMMARY THAT HAD ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY! And of course, please read my story (smile)

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**Two Hearts**

**Chapter One: Prologue**

Kagome looked up. The expression on her mate's face made her uneasy. She chewed her bottom lip, biting it with her top front teeth, a habit she had developed when she was nervous. It was a habit she had been unable to break even when Sesshoumaru 'reprimanded' her for it.

"The pup has been weaned. You are no longer necessary. I will take you to a place of your choosing. Then we shall part ways. The pup will stay with me."

The concise declaration took Kagome aback. It may have been the longest speech the inuyoukai had uttered to her, yet it was also the most damaging.

"What?" Her mind seemed unable to stomach the fact that he was taking their son and kicking her out.

"I will not repeat myself. Now, choose your destination."

"Wait a minute! How am I unnecessary?" Kagome demanded angrily.

"You were with pup. I could not have left you alone and unprotected while carrying my pup. So, I took you with me. You stayed until the pup was birthed and weaned. The pup no longer requires a mother. I shall take care of raising him from here."

"You only took me in because YOU got me pregnant in the first place!"

"Of course."

"This whole time meant nothing to you? At all?" Kagome asked, eyes wide. Her insides were crumbling. But she refused to cry in front of the shameless bastard as she waited for her response.

A silent nod was her reply.

"…So, what do you think of me as?" She trembled, afraid of the answer.

"A mistake."

"…I see…" Kagome drew in a deep breath slowly. "I understand, Sesshoumaru-sama." She said coldly. She gave a mocking bow and strode away.

Sesshoumaru watched her leave impassively. He didn't care what happened to her after this. It wasn't his responsibility. After all, she was nothing but a mistake…

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Kagome spent the rest of the day curled up in a guest room she had taken over. She refused to share a room with the heartless bastard. How could she have been so foolish? The answer was so simple…she had been desperate. He had come to her when she had thought she had lost everything that mattered. Then he had taken even more from her. But in the moments slumbering in his arms, when he wasn't raping her, she clung to his warmth.

Inuyasha was dead. Shippo was dead. She couldn't go to Sango and Miroku, they had married happily once Naraku was no more. They had offered to take Kagome in, but she decided that she would go back through the well and go home. Understanding, they only nodded quietly before embracing her and wishing her only the best. They said they'd never forget her.

Kagome had gone back to the well and contemplated her failed life in the darkness. Why was she alive? She was so weak. So useless. It should have been she who had died and they who had lived. Instead she had been stripped of her friends. There was no way she could intrude in Miroku's and Sango's new life. They had just gotten the happiness they so deserved. As she thought about this on the lip of the well, thick clouds covered the moon. She looked up time to see a shadow, darker than that of the black clouds above her, swoop down upon her. It was Sesshoumaru, and in seemingly no control of himself, he soon stripped her of her virginity.

Sesshoumaru had taken from her as well. When he had returned to himself, he spoke naught a word to her, but instead took her silent and crying form with him to his palace. She had gradually warmed up to him. He was not so bad as she thought he would have been. She saw through his icy mask and learned how to note the inner workings of his mind. She seemed to know what he wanted without him asking. In return, he had cared for her. It wasn't so bad at all…

She had been so desperate for a sign of affection from anyone, she had simply taken Sesshoumaru at face value. That had been a mistake on her part.

They had both erred. Kagome refused to make another mistake when it came to their hanyou child. She gazed lovingly at the two month old that lay slumbering peacefully in a bed many times too large for him. He now looked like a one year old, he had grown so fast.

At first she had been startled to watch him growing so rapidly, until she remembered, he had spent only six months in the womb. Also, Sesshoumaru had explained to her that youkai pups grew much more rapidly than ningen babes. It wasn't until they began to mature that youkai aging slowed. She placed a hand over her baby's forehead and leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry baby. I won't let you live in a loveless home. But I can't take you with me. He'd kill me before I got two feet toward the door with you. No child should ever experience the death of a parent, ever." She whispered to her baby, brushing back his long white bangs. Unable to help herself, she stroked one of the furry ears that adorned the top of her head. 'So much like Inuyasha,' she thought.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be this way, but he leaves me no choice. If you live long enough, I'll be there, and you'll know what love is. Right now, all I can do is make it so he can't ever hurt you. I love you." Silent tears leaked down her face. Kagome didn't seem to notice. "I'll always love you. Please don't ever forget." She whispered fervently.

Kagome then moved her hand and placed it over her son's chest. Her hand began to glow a bright blue, pulsing to the steady rhythm of her son's heartbeat. Her hand sank into his chest. Slowly, she drew her hand back. In it, a brilliant white and blue mass shimmered. She looked at it sadly then drew it into herself. It came to rest where the Shikon no Tama now rested, beating in sync with her own heart.

"One day, you'll come to me. I'll be waiting. I love you." Kagome murmured giving her baby one last kiss on the forehead. Then she faded into the night, never once looking back.

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Ten years had passed since Kagome had gone. It had taken ten years of being utterly miserable before he had realized that he had made a grievous error on his part: he never should have sent Kagome away.

It hadn't taken him long to discover that something was terribly wrong with the palace. It had taken him even less time to see the differences in his son. Sesshoumaru had awoken early the next morning with the intent to take Kagome to where ever it was she wished to go, as long as it was not within his domain. Imagine his surprise to discover her already gone. He quickly sniffed out her path, meaning to discover where it was that she had gone off to. It had meant nothing to him, he was just curious.

He tracked her down to a random guestroom that stunk heavily of tears, but was still fragranced with her own sweet and natural scent. It then lead him to his pup's room. It was quite a shock to Sesshoumaru to come upon a full-blooded youkai in the bed reserved for his pup. Strange as it was, the pup was still his pup. He was assured by the appearance and scent of the child. It bewildered him to no end. But from there, Kagome's scent faded. It was like she had simply disappeared from the room. He spent the next few hours trying to find a trace of her, but she was gone.

When the pup awoke, he was unusually quiet. Normally the pup awoke bubbling over with energy and eager to spend another day with his mother. On that day, he just lay quietly on the bed, waiting for someone to tend to him. The child did not cry. The child did not utter a sound. He was perfectly obedient, strong, and a full youkai. Sesshoumaru could not have asked for more. But it felt wrong.

The palace had become cold on that morning after Kagome's disappearance. Three years of denial passed. He had tried to convince himself that this was what he had wanted; a full blooded heir without the stringent of having to care for a weak mate who would only cling uselessly to him. All females were like that. Yet…in the back of his mind, he knew Kagome was different.

She had always greeted him with a smile in the morning. She had made it a personal mission to try to befriend everyone within his employ, a task in which she had failed. She had perhaps met only three-quarters of his staff before she left.

Sesshoumaru expected that the minor emotions she was able to bring out within him would fade once she was gone. If anything, her disappearance only made them worse. Not a day went by where he didn't long for her presence, her smile, her scent, her touch. His pup was worth no memory of her at all. The pup had seemed to have died inside. The pup was a cold, unfeeling creature. If he was struck in a mock battle, the pup would not even flinch, but continue to spar as if he had not been injured at all.

Sesshoumaru himself would have to call to the pup and to get his wound tended. The pup would listen to no one else. He sometimes doubted if the child was even his. The only female he had ever impregnated was that of the miko, Kagome. He had witnessed her birth a hanyou. Yet, the child was undoubtedly his. The pup possessed the silver hair and golden eyes unique to males of their bloodline. Even more convincing where the taiyoukai markings which graced the pup's face. He could not deny the dark crescent adorning the middle of the pup's forehead. That alone declared the pup as the future Taiyoukai of the Western Lands.

But he was still not the pup that Kagome had birthed. That child was full of life. It could not be put down or restrained. The pup simply adored everything and had a curiosity that surpassed even Kagome's. This youkai pup was cold. He seemed distant from everything around him. Once, Sesshoumaru lost his temper in trying to draw a response, ANYTHING from the pup, and he had beat the poor thing half to death. He wanted proof that the pup in his household was the same pup that Kagome had birthed.

The pup didn't even change expression. No whimper of fear escaped his lips. No wince of pain crossed his face. The child was lifeless. Only the autonomous movements of the pup's limbs as he did what he was ordered to do proved that the child was a living breathing creature.

After the beating, things only degenerated from there. Sesshoumaru began to hear rumors that he had gone mad from the loss of his mate and that his pup had been possessed by devils. It was nonsense, but slowly, they began to have a ring of truth to him.

In ten years, their pup had grown tremendously. He now had an appearance equivalent of a sixteen-year old ningen. The pup excelled in all traits, be it appearance, strength, guile, or even intelligence. The pup was terribly clever. He was able to convey all communication without a breath of words from his mouth. He had mastered ancient calligraphy and even Chinese script within his first five years of life. He had even surpassed Sesshoumaru himself in the art of wielding a sword.

The child was perfect, but Sesshoumaru was all to ready to trade in the lifeless doll if only he could find Kagome. He believed that Kagome was still alive. He had clung to that belief for years. It wasn't until, completely by coincidence, Sesshoumaru had decided to observe his son one night. It was four years to the night since Kagome had disappeared. He watched his son walk into the room he had been birthed on, sit on the floor where the bed he had slept in as a pup, and stare out the window. An hour later, a single word, sounding more like a breeze caressing the trees, was whispered in the darkness. Then the child would sit, completely still, gazing out the window until the sun rose, then he would stand, and continue about his daily duties.

Sesshoumaru had been stunned when he heard his son speak for the very first time. It was only one word, but it had proven the child's life. That one word, whispered so reverently: okaasan.

From then on, Sesshoumaru was sure that Kagome was alive somewhere, only in hiding. He renewed his efforts to discover her location, or even her family, to no avail. The years passed, and he began to note that every year, on the anniversary of Kagome's disappearance, the child would go to that room, sit on the same spot, and at always the exact same time, call out to his mother.

The boy knew where Kagome was…

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Sango had never been angrier in her life. Terror should have been the emotion that reigned supreme, but at the moment, she couldn't help but loathe the creature in front of her. The door to their home had been torn of it's hinges, and the culprit now stood glowering over her. She glared back, refusing to be intimidated by the deadly creature.

The door…Sango cast a glance back to where it now lay outside her home. It had been something that Kagome had shown them how to make. It was but a piece of wood with hinges on one side and a latch on the other, but it kept the weather out and kept them safer at night. It was much better than the bamboo curtains to which they were accustomed.

Sesshoumaru growled, pleased to see the woman's attention refocus on her, rather than the strange piece of wood which had barred him entrance. "Where is she." He demanded.

Sango knew exactly who he was talking about. She had discovered belatedly, Kagome's abduction, but she never stopped cursing the creature who had treated her so poorly. "I'll never tell." She hissed, her cinnamon eyes flashing in unrepressed anger.

Golden eyes narrowed. "You have a husband and a son. A good life. It would be a shame if you lost it all." He stated calmly.

A jolt of fear streaked through Sango. No. She would NOT lose another family. First it was her village, then the shard hunting group. She would NOT lose another family, especially to another blood-thirsty youkai. At the same time, she wouldn't betray her friend. She glared silent daggers at the youkai. Any of the respect she might have once had for the lord had long since evaporated. She never knew the Taiyoukai would have stooped so low as to abandon his mate, and then threaten her family in trying to find her again.

Sesshoumaru watched the play of emotions in the woman's eyes. Stubborn ningen. She was irritatingly loyal. He would require another tactic. He growled low, once. A strange bark-like sound came out as his lips parted, revealing fangs. In an instant, another youkai stood in her home.

Sango's eyes widened. The youkai was a perfect copy of the Lord, albeit smaller. The child wore a cold countenance, but she could immediately tell that it wasn't a schooled mask like Sesshoumaru. This child was emotionless. It resembled Kanna to such an extent that it caused her to shudder.

"This is Shin, Kagome's son."

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SM: Alright, the prologue is out, and no doubtedly confusing as ever. Lacks plot and is not that awesome or anything. I was tired when I came up with it. Plus, it's been sitting on my harddrive for so long, and it's STILL incomplete. Hahaha. I should be working on other things, but I've spread myself so thin right now. I put too much on my plate and what not... Ugh, excuses! And MORE excuses for not finishing my other fics. Heh heh heh...(naps)


	2. Ch 2: Departure

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**Chapter Two: Departure**

Sango was startled out of her attempt at soup making as the door to her hut slammed open. Drenched head to toe in the pouring rain was the one person she had not expected to see ever again.

"Oh Kami…Kagome!" Sango promptly dropped her ladle and ran to her best friend.

"Thought I told you to put a lock on that thing…" Kagome murmured before passing out.

Sango panicked. What was going on? She yelled for Miroku, who was trying to teach their baby the art of meditation in the rain. Of course, he only got the child once Sango had bundled him up in what Kagome had called a parka and a poncho.

Miroku was out back. A child, looking more like a blob eight times bigger, was tucked beside him. Her husband came running, his violet eyes widening to comic proportions as he took in the reappearance of one he had considered beyond their reach.

"Boil water, I'll get some dry cloths." He said in the serious tone he reserved when he was beyond worried. He quickly tucked their son into a warm bed then scrambled to tend to their friend. The couple spent hours watching over her prone and shivering form before Kagome flashed a brilliant white and awoke abruptly.

She was immediately embraced and groped.

Kagome was seated onto a cushion after two smacks and a THUD. Sango tended to her friend while her husband lay unconscious on the ground. "Kagome…what are you doing here? I thought the well would have sealed behind you. At least, that is what you lead us to believe." Sango said, using a warm dry cloth to wipe away the rain water on her friend's face. She took the plushest blanket they had and draped it about Kagome's shoulders. Kagome gave a weak smile and nodded her thanks.

"I never made it home." Kagome replied quietly.

"What?" The cloth all but slipped from Sango's numb fingers. "What happened!"

"I was…forcibly mated to Sesshoumaru before I jumped into the well. It was really stupid of me. I was just sitting at the well, all alone in the night. It was like asking to get attacked." She chuckled mirthlessly. "I guess, I never expected that kind of attack." She raised her hand to calm the former-taijiya as she was about to release an angry tirade. "Before you go on biting his head off, all I can say is that I don't think it was entirely his fault. He never meant for it to happen. I should know, he hates me."

Sango was silent for a moment. "So, all this time, you've still been here? Why didn't you come sooner?"

"I'm leaving Sango. Before, he wouldn't let me leave his palace. But now, he's let me go, and I'm going home. For good this time. I guess, I just wanted to say goodbye. And also…don't…don't tell him about the well. If he ever comes, tell him I've died or something. I doubt he'll ever live long enough to learn the truth. There aren't any youkai in my time. So, if he doesn't learn about the well, I'm sure you'll be fine…"

"Wait, Kagome. Please don't do this. Stay, here, with us. We'll take care of you and protect you if you need it. I swear I won't let him near you." Sango pleaded. She didn't want to lose the one whom she regarded as a sister.

"I can't. You guys deserve your happiness. I won't further endanger you by staying. It was dangerous enough just coming here…I…" Kagome faltered.

"Stay one night." Sango tried again. "Then we'll personally walk you to the well. We'll make sure you get through safely. But please, just stay one night."

"I can't…"

"Kagome-sama, if you please, it has been too long without you. Indulge us?" Miroku asked, a charming smile gracing his lips.

Kagome hesitated. They were slowly wearing down her feeble resistance. The truth was, she dearly missed her friends. "Ok…just one night."

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Regardless of Kagome's weakened state, she refused to rest. Instead, she stayed up all night, just talking or sitting with her friends. She didn't want to waste her one night sleeping if they were going to be the last few hours she spent with her friends, ever.

Strangely enough, though Kagome seemed more tired than they, it was Miroku and Sango who succumbed to sleep, still sitting in the main room with their friend. She stood, retrieving blankets for them, tucking the cloths around their slumbering bodies. She stood a silent watch over them, a small smile playing across her features.

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It was early the next day, before the sun had even risen, when Sango's eyes fluttered open. She sat up, smiling slightly noticing the blanket. Kagome would never change. She would still be kind-hearted, if not strange, girl from the future they had all grown to love. She got up, hoping that Kagome had not left, yet again, without saying goodbye. Her cinnamon eyes scanned their household, seeking her surrogate sister.

She heard a soft murmuring coming from the next room. She got up, folding the blanket in her arms, and walked over to the doorway. Kagome stood, bent over the baby's bed, whispering to her child, as if relaying a great secret.

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"You know, I have a baby too." Kagome grinned at the silent child, who's burgundy eyes stared up at her questioningly. "He's a bit older than you, but so much bigger!" She rubbed the baby's belly teasingly, eliciting a happy gurgle from the child. "That's because he's half a youkai, the son of a demon lord. But," Kagome leaned in over the crib, "I've done a bad thing, you know."

The baby burbled.

"Yes, I've taken something very important from my baby, but I've given his father exactly what he wants. At the same time, I've made it so that he can never hurt my son." She leaned down, almost conspiratorially. "I turned him into a full youkai."

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Sango suppressed a gasp. She wasn't even aware the her dear sister was powerful enough to do such a thing. But why would she do that?

Despite Sango's best attempts to remain unnoticed, Kagome had felt her friend's shocked and surprised aura. She stood slowly and turned, flashing a weak smile. "Good morning, Sango."

"Kagome." Sango whispered. "What did you-"

Kagome cut her off with a small wave of her hand. She walked over, looping an arm around her friend's arm. "It was for the best, Sango. I didn't want to do it, but I don't dare allow that man to hurt my baby like he hurt me." She replied softly. She lead them back to the other room to find Miroku, sitting against the wall, a thoughtful expression on his face. The girls were startled to have found him awake so soon. He hadn't been the earliest riser in their group.

"So, you heard too?" Kagome asked, almost sheepishly

Cool violet eyes turned to study her. "I did, Kagome-sama. I was hoping that you would, perhaps explain to us why you would transform your child into a full youkai." He said slowly.

Kagome cast her eyes downward, her foot moving to scuff the floor in a manner that of a chastised child. She sighed. "I suppose if anyone deserves to hear an explanation, it should be you guys." She plopped herself on the floor, blowing her bangs up as she did so.

Sango sat beside her, holding her hand in a sisterly gesture of support.

Looking up, Kagome seemed to have aged before their very eyes. She suddenly appeared so old and tired. "Se…Sesshoumaru isn't the easiest guy to get along with, but, he's not evil. Far from it, he can be the perfect gentleman when he wants to be." She began, looking thoughtful. "At first, I was scared spitless of him. I mean, he comes out of the blue and…well…mates me…errr…not exactly voluntarily. So, I was understandably upset. But when he awoke in the next morning, he was his calm, cold, detached self. He took me with him, claiming that he would have no mate of his wandering the forests alone at night. I was taken to his home, which was a freaking city in itself. It was huge! I guess being a Taiyoukai has its perks, ne?"

Miroku and Sango nodded mutely. Kagome continued.

"Well, it didn't take me long to find out I was pregnant. I was mortified at first. In my time, being pregnant so young is looked down upon. Then I freaked as I saw how fast my baby was growing. Sesshoumaru explained that since the baby, or 'pup' as he called him, was half youkai, he would develop much faster than a human baby.

During the time of my pregnancy, Sesshoumaru was uncharacteristically kind. I actually had thought that maybe he was warming up to me. I mean, he's not a bad guy. He just has this icy, pointy, meanie exterior that makes it hard for people to like him. I thought it was a defense mechanism because he had probably been scorned in his youth, or something."

Slightly puzzled, but sort of understanding Kagome's strange terminology, the couple nodded again.

"Well, the baby was born a hanyou. I hadn't expected anything else. Surprisingly though, Sesshoumaru seemed to take it in stride. He treated the baby with all the respect and gave him full honors of his heir. I was elated. I had feared that he would be disgusted with a hanyou, but my fears were misplaced."

Kagome sighed once more, the sound heart-wrenching.

"For two-months, all seemed well. I had grown accustomed to the place and Sesshoumaru's strange ways. I was actually happy for a while. Then, Sesshoumaru ordered me out. He said that I was no longer needed in raising the baby, and since he had no further use of me, he was basically kicking me out.

It hurt, thinking that we were finally getting close to one another, accepting one another. I should have known better. I was a ningen, and he was a Taiyoukai. He wouldn't change. I had been nothing but a tool to him in raising our baby. Before that, I had been a mistake. So, I accepted it. But I wasn't going to leave without taking care of my baby first. I wouldn't allow the vulnerable child to grow up with such a heartless beast. So, I took his humanity from him."

At this, a surprised expression crossed Sango's face. "Kagome, how could you separate human from the hanyou?"

Kagome smiled sadly. She brought a hand up to her chest and closed her eyes in concentration. Slowly her hand began to glow. It was faint at first, but gradually gained strength, pulsing to the steady beat of Kagome's heart. She opened her eyes and held the glow out for her friends to see. "This is my humanity. This is the part of me that my son carried. I simply took it back to house within my own body. My baby will grow up a full youkai, an exact copy of his father, and exactly what his father wanted."

"If you could separate human from youkai blood in a hanyou, then why did you not do so with Inuyasha?" Miroku questioned.

Kagome frowned. "Something like this comes with a terrible price. It was something none of us would be willing to pay, especially Inuyasha. He never would have wanted to become full youkai this way." She replied sadly, returning the glow to hold within her body once more.

"Kagome, what is it? What did you do?" Sango questioned, a note of panic in her voice.

"It doesn't matter." She smiled brightly. "I'm so glad to have seen you again. You have no idea how happy you've made me." She hugged her former traveling companions, giving each a tight embrace. "I love you guys so much, and I hope you'll be happy until the end of your days." Kagome spoke earnestly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Kagome-sama?" The houshi looked up with questioning eyes. In his opinion, the miko was being too abrupt. She was leaving them at that moment. He wouldn't allow it. Kagome was still hurting too much, still raw from the wounds she had just been dealt. She had already suffered so much. "Kagome-sama." He said more resolutely. "It would please us greatly if you stayed a while. I would much prefer to have another lovely lady in the house." He grinned winningly.

Catching on quickly to what Miroku meant, Sango pressed forward as well. "Yes, of course, Kagome. Stay. It would be great to have another pair of hands to help with Seichiro."

"You named him Seichiro? It's a beautiful name." Kagome said softly.

Cinnamon and violet eyes widened. Was it just them, or did Kagome seem to be fading? It wasn't some trick of the light! They could see right through their friend!

"Kagome!" They cried out in panic. "What-?"

A brief smile. "I'll never forget you guys. I'll think about you and love you always. I miss you already." Kagome waved farewell to them, a ghostly hand lingering in the air, then she was gone.

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	3. Ch 3: Something Gained

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**Chapter Three: Something Gained**

Golden eyes narrowed at the concession of the tale. Was he truly expected to believe such nonsense? A girl from the future, vanishing before the eyes of her friends. It was ludicrous. Yet, he did believe it, completely. Kagome was that strange of a creature. She was innocent, alluring, yet overall, a puzzling creature. He would never figure her out in her entirety, and this story simply added to her mystique.

The former taijiya had readily yielded the tale once she had lain eyes on the youkai beside him. Sesshoumaru refused to entitle the youkai as his child until Kagome returned to him. The pup was simply not…right. Ten years had not been enough time to acquaint him with the demon, so he simply treated him as another, though highly valued, youkai.

It seemed that the former taijiya had sensed immediately the wrongness of the pup. Her eyes had widened in fear? Was it fear? No, it was more like pain. A strange mix of emotions had revealed themselves in her eyes. She seemed to have understood something.

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Sango stared at Shin with wide eyes. She exhaled sharply as the realization dawned on her. It wasn't that Kagome had taken her humanity from him, it was that she had fully stripped him of all his humanity. She had created a lifeless automaton out of her son.

It was a price Inuyasha would never have paid for becoming a youkai. But she also saw how it would protect the boy. No matter how harshly Sesshoumaru would treat the boy, he would never know heartache. At the same time, he would never know life. Her eyes flashed angrily at the Taiyoukai, silently wondering what he had done to her to have caused her dear friend and sister to resort to such drastic action.

"Your ire is wasted on me, taijiya." Sesshoumaru clipped. "Becoming angry at me will not bring her back, nor will it heal her."

Sango's lips pressed into a thin line. He was right, but she would still be angry at him. She needed something to be mad at.

"So, I must wait five hundred years to see her again." Sesshoumaru mused to himself, ignoring those around him. "Give me the location of the well she used." He snapped his attention back to the former taijiya.

Gritting her teeth, Sango glared at the youkai. Her eyes flickered briefly to Shin, her expression saddening instantly. "It won't open for you. It only ever worked for Kagome and Inuyasha. Even still, Kagome had to have a Shikon shard with her."

"I can still try. Where is the well." He demanded.

Sango shook her head. Sesshoumaru didn't know what he was asking her. She would never intentionally endanger her friend. She wouldn't allow the youkai to hurt her again. Kagome would be safe, in the future, unaware of what would happen here. There was no way she would let Sesshoumaru get her. He had already done enough.

Sesshoumaru was growing impatient. The girl had been cooperative when she had seen Shin, but she had hardened once more against him. His hands curled at his sides, desirous of squeezing the answers from her throat. He held himself back though, they were only trying to protect their friend. Did they not understand that she should not be protected from her own mate?

"Ningen." He said coldly. "I will not ask again."

Sango remained resolute.

Just as Sesshoumaru was about ready to wreck havoc on their happy little home, Shin leapt from the house.

Sesshoumaru growled in annoyance. The pesky creature. Glancing the ningen a farewell glare, promising retribution in the future, he followed the pup.

The pup was leading him back to the West, back home.

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Sango released a sigh of relief, sliding to the floor bonelessly. She had never been so frightened before. The Taiyoukai of the West could be a more intimidating creature than even he ever thought possible. A cold sweat broke out on her skin.

Sango would never be more relieved that Miroku had taken their son out on an unexpected meditation escapade that day. Her husband would not have had to face the cold-blooded youkai. At the same time, Sango knew that she would have to inform him of the events that had happened. A door torn off its hinges would be hard to hide. They would be able to worry for their friend, together.

-:- -:- -:-

Damned pup. Even with his superior tracking skills and speed, Sesshoumaru was struggling. He was actually struggling with keeping up with his own offspring. It was pathetic. It irritated him. Sometimes he had desired tearing out the pup's throat with his own claws. He never went that far though. He knew that if he had, the pup would never make a sound. No, Shin's eyes would remain as dull and lifeless even while dying. Not only that, but Kagome…then she would truly hate him.

Shin was her pup as well, though it no longer showed. She had tried to protect him. She loved Shin. She had done something terrible to try and save Shin from the harm that he, himself, would have, without doubt, put the pup through without the supervision of the mother. It was his nature though. All males would be rough with the upbringing of their spawn. It was how to make them strong. The females would watch out for the well-being of the young, to protect them from the male, if need be. Kagome had done so, even without being present.

A corner of his mouth twisted downward. It was unnatural. Their whole brood was unnatural. And it was his fault. Now, he would do whatever it took to correct it.

-:- -:- -:-

Shin scented the air. Something was calling him. A sweet warm scent. It was an addictive scent that had been with him for as long as he could remember. He always followed the scent when it came to him. He wanted to be wrapped in the embrace of that scent. It was the only thing that ever made him feel whole…

He knew that his father hated him for some reason. He didn't quite understand the elder demon, but he was sure that the inu was insane. He had overheard from the braver servants' gossip that it was because of the disappearance of his mate. The other demon's mate would be his mother. Shin wanted to meet her. He was sure that she was around. The comforting scent assured him of that since he was certain that the scent belonged to her. Sometimes, rarely, he would even smell the familiar fragrance wafting through windows.

In fact, once a year, in a particular room, at one hour, he could smell her. The scent would stay with him through the morning. He wished it would stay longer. The scent was the only thing that was…_soft _around him. Everything else was cold, hard, and numb. He simply didn't care about anything else. Shin excelled at everything he touched, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to be good enough for his mother to return. He missed her presence.

He retained too few, and yet precious, memories of her. She was _soft_. He remembered. She was also very sad. But the main thing he remembered was a gentle voice saying that she loved him and he would find her. He would go to where she waited. So, he always followed her scent blindly, knowing that she looked out for him. It was the only thing he could trust.

"Okaa-san."

-:- -:- -:-

One word, ghosted through the wind, reaching the inu-youkai's sensitive ears, speeding his steps. Sesshoumaru was behind Shin in an instant, the pair matching speeds. His eyes bored holes into the back of the pup. Why speak of her now?

Before, the only time the pup would utter a sound would be on the anniversary of her disappearance. He spoke of her now, as if she were close.

-:- -:- -:-

Shin could sense it. He was close to her! Just ahead, he could barely see a break in the trees, but he knew that something was there.

He sped through the forest, barely realizing when he had entered it. Branches and leaves whipped past him, shattering if they were in his way. His father fell behind him as he quickened his pace. The treeline broke. A clearing!

He paused, hesitating. An old, dried well was in the center. Perched on the edge was a woman. She looked up, smiling briefly. Her scent surrounded him. So familiar…he took a step forward.

She blinked once, smiling warmly at Shin. She held out one hand toward him. There was something in it; a gray sliver, looking like a splintered rock.

He could trust her. His whole belief in his life was that he could trust this scent, and now, he could see the bearer of it. "Okaa-san." He whispered, his hand closing about hers.

The cold object in her hand flared. Heat poured into him. Startled, he looked up. He had never felt such a sensation before.

Kagome smiled. "I'm sorry, Shin. I never meant for it to take this long, but I had no choice. He was taking too long, I had to do it myself."

He stared at her confusion barely discernable in his blank gaze.

She giggled, planting a soft kiss on his forehead, a feeling he scarcely remembered from his puphood. "Don't worry. It won't be long now. Find me again. I'll always be waiting for you. I love you, baby." She wrapped her arms around him, enshrouding him in that scent he adored and the warmth he craved. She was the only one who could make him feel.

"You've grown so much, but you're still my baby, even if I haven't been there for you. It's for the best though. You'll be strong."

She leaned forward, placing one more feather light kiss on his forehead. "I'll see you soon, baby." She murmured.

"Kagome!" The shout startled the both of them.

Kagome looked up, her embrace around her son tightening. She relaxed after a moment, a soft smile on her lips. "Goodbye." She whispered, her eyes trained on Sesshoumaru's. She faded from sight.

-:- -:- -:-

Angry, Sesshoumaru snatched Shin up by the collar of his haori. "Where did she go?" He demanded.

Shin merely gazed at him blankly, his even gaze unchanging.

Disgusted, Sesshoumaru released the boy. He would never speak, never make a sound, never change his cold façade. The boy had no weaknesses. He was perfect! Sesshoumaru hated it. He wanted the weaknesses! Even if it made his son hanyou. Even if his mate was human. Even if he opened himself up to the enemies, he still wanted those weaknesses. It would bring Kagome back.

He glared at the well. Something wasn't right. Though the taijiya had informed him that she had passed from one era into the next through the well, it didn't look as if she was using it. He couldn't sense a shred of magic from the well. Not only that, but he couldn't scent her anywhere, but he was sure that he had seen her. She _had_ been here. But…his expression tightened.

Imprints.

She had imprinted herself here, using powers he didn't even know she possessed. Then again, he wasn't aware that she would have been able to transform their son into a full youkai. He eyed the pup out of the corner of his eye. The pup was doing something, staring at something in his hand.

"Show it to me." He ordered.

Shin hesitated a moment. He extended his hand, palm upward. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. A shikon shard!

"Give it to me."

Instead of wordlessly obeying him as he was accustomed, Shin instead closed his fingers around the shard and held it close to himself, shaking his head. He wouldn't relinquish it to Sesshoumaru.

A corner of his mouth curled downward. "Give me the shard." He ordered once more.

Again, Shin refused. He took off suddenly, fleeing from his father with his prize. Shin wouldn't give it up. The shard was his to keep! His mother gave it to him. His steps light and quick, he ran back to the Western castle. His hand remained tightly closed around the shard. It was warm. It was the only warmth he could feel.

-:- -:- -:-

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SM: Lots of work. School and work eating up my life. I have one four hour whole in my schedule on Tuesdays. It's my only time I can write. Updates and everything will be slow and crawling, but I'm still alive and kicking...twitching at least...snooze


	4. Ch 4: Something Lost

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-:- -:- -:-

-:- -:- -:-

**Chapter Four: Something Lost**

Kagome staggered to the ground. She held a hand to her chest, gasping. "Just a bit longer." She murmured before darkness encompassed her.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru was furious. Something wasn't adding up, and Shin was the reason. He was sure of it. Kagome…she…His jaw tightened. It wasn't until he had begun to search for her did he realize how very little he knew about her.

Whereas she could read his impassive moods, say the things he was thinking, do and retrieve the things he wanted before he even expressed a desire for it, he could not say the same. He had been Lord since he was a pup. He had been raised with the idea to rule. He had not known much else. When the time came for him to think about others, about his mate, he…hadn't the first clue where to begin. So he had treated her as he had a mere servant. He had given her a higher status, but not much else.

She had left, and she was completely blameless. He had wanted her gone. But with her, she had taken every memory, every shred of her presence, leaving behind only her lingering scent, and that too, had faded with time. Their son was not their son. He was just a copy of the Lord himself. Shin was his offspring, his heir. He possessed none of Kagome's attributes. It looked like he never would.

Sesshoumaru had no idea how Kagome had done it. He had researched in his extensive library. He had sought out youkai soothsayers and human priestesses and monks, but none could undo, nor even explain what Kagome had wrought. It was a testament to her power, and her presence that he had so foolishly discarded.

Shin was a mystery. He knew things about Kagome, could feel the wisps of power she had left for him. Shin was changing as the days passed. He still did not speak, nor smile, but warmth had begun to express itself in his eyes. And Sesshoumaru had noticed, that the more time passed, the larger the shikon shard became. He began to wonder, what would happen when the Shikon was completed. Would Kagome return, or would something worse happen?

From Kagome, he had learned that the Shikon had been brought back into their world from her body. She had broken it, and had quested with Inuyasha to retrieve the pieces. When the jewel was whole again, it was once more returned to her body, but this time, she had absorbed it, becoming one with the jewel. Now, she had separated it from herself, much like she had separated herself from Shin. Still, a connection was between them, one Shin used, growing closer to Kagome, as Sesshoumaru was growing further away. He felt like he was caught in a current, pulling himself away from them. It hurt, he realized. Never before had he ever felt such acute emotional pain.

He was being rejected as he had rejected her.

It was fair, Kagome was never unjust, but were she with him, he would ask that she wouldn't reject him, that she stayed with him, always. Sesshoumaru never asked for anything. He demanded, and it happened. He was a taiyoukai, there was no reason to ask. But for her, he would swallow his pride and ask. There were so many things that he would ask her to do. He would ask her to return, to stay, and to raise their pup with him as it should have been done. He wished for their hanyou son to return. A youkai heir meant so little to him in comparison. He shouldn't have sent her away.

Ten years was far too long to have to live without her once he had become accustomed to her affection. It was like losing a limb, but for youkai, limbs regrew. The wound Kagome had left behind, would not mend. He couldn't heal or deal with the loss. His only option, was to get her back.

-:- -:- -:-

Shin wasn't sleeping. He rarely slept anymore, choosing instead, to sit in _that_ room, and wait for the scent. As soon as the barest wisp of it reached his nose, he was gone, out the window, and racing toward _her_. He couldn't explain it, but being near her, being with her, made him feel whole. He cherished that feeling. He only wished that she would stay longer. He never knew to where she disappeared He only that he couldn't follow, and that he hoped she would return sooner.

His fingers curled around his gift. The steady pulse of the object reassured him that she would come again, and soon. His hand tightened about it. He didn't know what it was, but his father knew, and he wanted it. However, Shin wouldn't give it up. He would do anything else, give anything else, but his gift. The gift belonged to him, and it was from _her_. He didn't dare allow anyone else to touch it. The gift was his, and it was warm.

He could feel only coldness from everything else, but her words, her touch, her scent, it was all warmth. He craved it to the point of tears. The pulse of his gift began to beat stronger. He had realized, that when his thoughts became more intense, so did the pulse of his gift. He wasn't sure why, but it made him feel…it made him _feel_. It was something, and he was content.

He brought his hand to eyelevel and opened his fist. His gift was almost perfectly round now, only a few cracks to indicate its imperfection. It seemed to grow whenever he met _her_. He wondered what would happen when it became a ball. It would be finished then. Would she stop coming? Would she stay? He hoped it was the latter. It was the only thing he looked forward to. Everything else was passive in his mind. Nothing caused a stir in his emotions except _her_.

-:- -:- -:-

Kagome beamed at him. She held her hand out, and without hesitation, he laid his gift into her open palm. Her fingers closed about it and he watched in rapt fascination as her hand glowed. When her fingers uncurled, the ball was finished. A perfect sphere. It radiated a warmth Shin could feel without touching it. Tentatively, he reached for the sphere. His fingers brushed against her hand as they closed about the it. His hand was a little too eager though, and one of his claws sliced open her palm. He stared, mortified at the would he had caused.

His face was stoic, but his body was tense. He had wounded her. Would she leave now and never come back? A fear he had never known gripped him. What had he done? He had never felt so horrified. It was all consuming. His insides turned to ice. He couldn't meet her eyes, staring instead, at the bright crimson line he had caused.

Kagome had no such worries. She only smiled, and tilted his head to look at her. She brushed the hair from his eyes. Then she laughed, a heartfelt sound. "Don't worry so much, dear." She said softly. "I don't care what you look like, or how you act, you're still my baby. A little scratch won't kill me. And I don't mind, I know it was an accident." She placed a tender kiss on his brow.

His body relaxed slightly, pacified by her reply. His lips parted. He so desperately wanted to ask her to stay, but the words, the ability to articulate the desire, wasn't coming. It was frustrating. _Stay! Please!_

She stared at him intently, but her eyes never once lost their softness or warmth. When no sound was forthcoming, she merely smiled again, patting his head, and drawing him into her embrace. "It's ok, baby. Take your time. I know this is hard for you too." Her expression saddened. "I'm sorry. I may have acted too hastily in the past. But I was hurt, and at the time, it seemed like the only choice. I never meant to hurt you."

Shin was confused. What was she talking about. She looked so sad though. He didn't like it. A motion foreign to his limbs, he wrapped them awkwardly around her shoulders, returning her embrace for the first time. "Okaasan." He murmured.

She gave a choked sob. "Oh, baby. My darling child. I'm so sorry. I love you so much." Her arms tightened around his taller form. _I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to happen like this._ "I always love you. Please remember, Shin. Always."

Movement beyond the treeline caught her attention. So, he had come, again. He only watched though. He hadn't try to interfere like the first time. Kagome wondered if he knew by now, if he understood what she was doing. It would explain his hesitation. After all, he hadn't wanted her. If he did nothing, she would disappear for good. Did he want her to stop her actions? She couldn't, not if she wanted Shin to live a normal life. The boy deserved it. Even if Sesshoumaru tried to stop her, she would finish what she started.

"Shin." She whispered.

He looked at her, his attention not once diverted from her.

She offered him a comforting smile. "It's a bit early, but…I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry baby. I'm just not strong enough." She grasped their hands together, the jewel nestled in their palms. Her hands warmed, magic flowing into them. The pulse of the jewel began to change, taking a slower, steadier beat, a different rhythm. Though it wasn't as comforting as before, the new beat was somehow familiar to Shin. Kagome lifted the jewel and Shin was slightly startled to see that it had changed colors. Instead of the light pink, it had become pure white. She cupped the jewel into her hands, guiding his, and pressed the jewel to his chest. His eyes widened as the sphere began to sink into his chest.

She blinked away tears as his eyes slowly slid shut. Ghostly white triangles appeared on the top of his head, hanyou ears. They flickered and faded. His markings lightened slightly. He would return to his hanyou form, in time. She had returned to him that which she had taken so long ago. She had wanted to be able to show him a mother's love, but she had only managed to impress her affections on to him in the weakest of measures. He knew he was loved, and he knew that she would love him for all of eternity, but she couldn't be there to simply love him while he grew up.

It saddened her greatly that she had deprived him of what every child needed, but she had also ensured that he would be able to survive without it. She hurt and grieved for him. But he would be whole now. He had been restored. His memories would return, and with them, she had given him a part of herself. He would _know_. He would be kind and compassionate. He would possess the innate empathy she had possessed. But most importantly, he would have the knowledge of love. He would know its importance, and know that he was loved. He would be alright, even if she couldn't be there with him.

Shin's legs collapsed beneath him. She caught his taller, heavier form, her own legs buckling beneath their combined weight. What a big boy he had grown up to be. Gently, she managed to maneuver him into a comfortable position, cradling her son's head in her lap. She gave a soft smile, brushing his hair from his face. "I'm so sorry, love." She said quietly. Tears blurred her vision. She squeezed her eyes shut, her own head bowing to touch his. "I missed you, so much. I thought…in time, we could…" _Be together_. She choked back a sob. "I'm so sorry. It has taken too long." Tears slid down her cheeks, falling into his hair.

-:- -:- -:-

Sesshoumaru blinked. Was she…? He ground his teeth. Not again.

Her image _was_ fading. It was flickering in and out, and steadily fading. He raced to her side, snatching up an arm. She looked up at him, surprised. Her eyes blinked rapidly, forcing more tears to slide down her cheeks. "Sesshoumaru-sama?"

The honorific bothered him more than he cared to know. Was she back to the formalities again? Had they drifted that far apart?

"Kagome." He ground out. His eyes looked pointedly at her arm, his own grip tightening, as if he could physically keep her there with him.

Her blue eyes traveled to her arm. "Ah." She said after a moment.

Was that it? Was that all she had to say? She was leaving again, and he would have none of it.

"Stop." He commanded sharply.

She looked surprised. "What?"

"Don't leave." He said, his tone softer.

She blinked. "I don't understand." And he realized that she truly didn't. She didn't know the pain she had put him through. She didn't know how much of her presence he had missed. She had not the slightest inkling of how much he had cared for her, and he had not even known it himself until it was too late. He had not missed her until she was gone. He had put her through much pain as well, more than he had ever meant to inflict. He wouldn't repeat his mistakes.

He was begging her with every fiber of his being. If she so wished, he would kneel before her and plead. She had to stay. She had graced him with the taste of living, and when she had left, he had become like a man deprived. He had been starved for her presence, her ability to _live_. He had no idea how to go on by himself, and he knew, that he no longer wanted to go on by himself. He wanted her with him, by his side. His blood beast had chosen what it had wanted, and he should not have denied it. His denial had been such a mistake, so he silently begged, pleading with his expressions, his aura. He was desperate, and for once, the Lord within him, allowed this one weakness. Sesshoumaru swallowed his pride. "Stay, please." He pleaded, his voice soft, fragile

Her blue eyes widened a moment, then she understood. Her expression gentled, her lips falling into that kind, dazzling smile to which he had been so accustomed. She looked at him apologetically. "I can't." And she was gone.

Sesshoumaru was left in the forest, his hand grasping at thin air.

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SM: Sorry this chapter is so short. As I explained in my profile, the something that had inspired me to write this has died. At this point, I'm just looking to finish it, so if the quality is sucking, that's the reason. I'm real sorry to those of you looking to this to be a 'good fic'. I guess, I just sort of lost the feeling for it. I'm trying to get back on track, and this is what popped out. It's shorter than I would have liked, but there's a bit more happening. It's closing in on the end soon. Mayhaps one or two more chapters. If you feel a bit jilted at the end, join the club, cuz I have no idea what happened either, hahahaha.


	5. Ch 5: Dreams of White and Red

**Chapter Five: Dreams of White and Red**

_She sat, alone in a white field sparsely dotted with red. Idly, she fingered the tiny white blossoms in numerous clumps in front of her. They were so small, so fragile, and she handled them with the utmost delicacy, lovingly. _

"_Why do you chase after me when I am already gone?" She asked quietly._

_He stood behind her, watching her movements, drinking in her appearance with his eyes. He wanted to touch her, but found that he could not move. "I had not realized your true value until you had already gone." He replied._

"_Is that your only reason?" Her fingers stilled around a single blossom on the outermost fringe of the clump._

"_Yes."_

"_Then, you will never find me." Her fingers crushed the blossom, and the image vanished in a flurry of white petals stained red._

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Sesshoumaru awoke with a start. He stared at his surroundings in surprise. He was in his quarters at his domain. He couldn't even remember returning home, much less falling asleep. He brought a clawed hand to his head. His heart was pounding and his mind was telling him something was amiss, but he couldn't remember. He had dreamed of something…but he couldn't recall it. But whatever it had been, he knew it had been important.

There was a soft knock at his door.

He threw the covers from him, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He summoned his haori to him and slipped it on. "Enter." He said tersely.

Two white triangles emerged first, poking around the edge of the door. They were followed by a face he hadn't seen in over ten years. The child was garbed in his standard white youkai attire, but it was undoubtedly a hanyou. His breath caught in his throat. "Shin."

The hanyou seemed uncertain, and teetered on the edge of the doorway for a moment before fully entering and shutting the door behind him. He bowed his head. "Chichiue."

For a while, neither moved, unsure how to begin. Shin was nervous about something.

Sesshoumaru swallowed hard. What did this mean? Had…had Kagome…? He hardly dared to hope that she had returned, but Shin was _their _son again. That meant more to him than he had ever realized. There was proof that once he had mated a most beautiful, powerful, and pure miko woman.

Then he noticed how Shin's arms were behind his back, he seemed to be twisting something in his hands. Before Sesshoumaru could ask, Shin pulled out a pure white kimono and held it in front of him. Flower petals were faintly outlined in red on the otherwise blank kimono. "Okaa-san said for you to watch over this." He said quietly, before walking over and placing the kimono on the edge of the bed. Then he moved to scuttle out the door.

"Is she here?" The Taiyoukai's voice rang out before he could stop it.

Shin stilled, his hand on the side of the door. "No." He said simply, but there was a meaning in his son's intonation that he couldn't quite understand. Then Shin bowed his head and hurried from the room.

Sesshoumaru studied the kimono Shin had left. Shin knew more than he had let on, but for now, Sesshoumaru would let it go. As much as he would hate to admit it, he was clueless about how to proceed. This situation was unlike one he had ever been in before, but he had only a single goal in mind; return Kagome to her rightful place by his side.

At their last encounter, she seemed to understand something about him. But she also said that she could no longer return to them. Perhaps the kimono was a clue about where she was entrapped.

The kimono was abysmally plain. It was a standard garb worn by the middle-class. The only thing that made it unique was its coloring. He had never before seen anything so pure white. It made newly fallen snow appear grey in comparison. The faint red outlining of flower buds, the lines were so delicate and small. It stirred a memory within him, one he could not quite grasp. And the scent, it was slight, barely noticeable, but it was there. Instead of carrying the scent of those who had handled it, the cloth was tinged with the scent of flowers and the most subtle metallic smell. It was strange.

He took the kimono to another room. He stood in the room for a moment, noticing how empty it felt. All of the furniture and objects that had always been in the room were there, and there was not the barest hint of dust, but it still gave off an almost ghostly aura. This had been Kagome's room, untouched in the ten years since she had left. He made it over to her bed and carefully laid the kimono onto it. He would watch over the kimono, and no one else but his eyes alone would watch over it. The room was under express orders to never be disturbed. Only Sesshoumaru could enter.

-:- -:- -:-

_The light scent danced just in front of his nose, enough to be entranced by it, but not enough to be able to tell what it was. No matter which way he walked, the scent neither strengthened nor weakened. He could not trace the source of it, no matter how much he wanted to. It was important…but he couldn't recall why._

"_You still search for me?" The gentle voice trilled through the air, disembodied._

"_I do." He replied honestly._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I want you."_

_He felt the very air seem to hesitate, hovering. The breeze still blew, still soft, still gentle, but the atmosphere had changed somehow._

_She appeared, walking slowly. She crested the top of a nearby hill. If he had wanted he could have met her in a half a dozen steps, yet he remained where he was. He noted that this was the field he had been in before, but this time, there were significantly many more red flowers._

_She sat down, immersing her fingers in the field of white. She looked at him curiously. "Why?" She asked._

"_Because you belong to me."_

_Her hands pulled upward, hard, yanking out a large clump of the white flowers. She looked at them sadly, her fingers tightening around the bundle. Her eyes turned to him apologetically._

_His eyes widened as the spot from where they had been unearthed began to fill with red, only not flowers. Crimson liquid emerged in a small pool, staining her white kimono as she kneeled. The wind began to blow harder, dispersing the petals of the flowers that she held. White butterflies sprouted from the bundle, flying in a mass of white until the flowers disappeared._

_She sighed heavily. "The red butterflies will come soon." She said quietly. Then she too vanished in a burst of white wings._

-:- -:- -:-

"Okaasan." Shin stared down at his hands mournfully. She had gifted him with the knowledge to find her, but he held back. She didn't want to be found, at least, not by him.

She was a pure, pure heart, but within each heart there held a desire. He couldn't love her the way she wanted to be loved. But, Sesshoumaru could. Sesshoumaru could save her, if only he could see how. There was no way for Shin to tell him, much less show him, what he needed to do. Sesshoumaru had to realize it on his own. But, the manner in which the Western Lord had been raised, and the way he had chosen to live his life, conflicted with the realization. The longer it took, the faster Kagome would fade from their grasps forever.

Contrary to what he had believed, Kagome was not in some limbo. She had a physical form, but in order to house Shin's humanity for all those years, her own spirit had been ejected from her body. When she had given back his humanity, she had been too weakened to return to her own form. She now wandered, trapped in a different realm. Too much longer, and she would die.

His fists clenched and he closed his eyes in frustration. So useless. He couldn't save his own mother, no matter how hard he wished it. He didn't have the power. The one who had the power…

Shin bowed his head. Sesshoumaru was…a very stubborn demon. And despite himself, he doubted that Sesshoumaru could save her. He knew as much as Kagome understood. The demon never hated her, but at the same time, he was unable to come to terms with the alien emotion he had attached to her. Too young to understand Sesshoumaru's short-comings, she had acted too rashly. She had only tried to protect her son, never fully realizing how precious she had actually become to the demon lord.

If Sesshoumaru didn't realize it soon…Shin didn't want to think about it. He sat in his room, staring out the window, as he did every year, his hands clasped in his lap. Sesshoumaru had to realize it…he didn't want to think of the consequences if he never learned…

-:- -:- -:-

_Red._

_Everything was red._

_He couldn't see past the red or through it. The color obscured his vision in a crimson veil. The gentle flowery aroma was gone, replaced by the scent of ice and the tang of blood. Yet, his eyes scanned fruitlessly for a patch of white, a glimpse of purity in the blood stained world._

_There was none._

"_Kagome?" He called tentatively._

_Then at his feet, he saw it. A curtain of midnight hair, pale arms outstretched. Kagome lay at his feet, sprawled in a crimson kimono. Her body was splayed, face down, her hair shrouding her face in black silk. He knelt hurriedly, running a clawed hand over her back. Her body was warm, and he could feel her heart beat, but she lay so quiet, so still._

_It was so violently different from the dreams before. His fingers brushed her hair from her face._

_She looked so peaceful asleep. Yet he wanted to see her expressive eyes, those clear blue orbs, looking back at him. Kagome being asleep here seemed…wrong._

_Gingerly, he lifted her, rotating her body so she lay half on his lap. He continued to brush her silky locks from her face, pausing when he spotted something on her neck. From the back of her neck, twin stripes sprouted. He moved her to get a better look._

_The black stripes slid downward, spreading out into a complex pattern onto her back. The were symmetrical to each other and even penetrated through the back of her kimono. However, the pattern was incomplete, some sections missing. It was for the most part, just an outline. _

_Wings, he realized. Butterfly wings…_

_Then he knew. The wings were slowly drawing on her back, once they were fully formed she would disappear. He wouldn't allow it. Even if he had to clip her wings, never allow them to spread, he would keep her with him. It sounded like a losing battle, even to him. If some things were never meant to be, he could hardly change them, but he was willing to do what it took to try. _

_He couldn't allow her to leave him. Not even in this dream world. Kagome was a precious thing, a lovely thing. She was strong-willed and powerful, and in her own right, untamable. But she was still a young human girl, prone to mistakes as he was prone to fault. She was as delicate as a butterfly. And the most beautiful of butterflies had a lifespan of only one day._

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Golden eyes snapped open. It seemed he was unable to sleep for very long, no matter how tired he was. He rarely chose to sleep nowadays, more intent on discovering the mystery of that white kimono, and Kagome's location. There had to be some way to reach her, as she had been able to reach them. If only he could find her, he could bring her back, even if she couldn't come back on her own. His eyes slid over to the kimono he had hung on the dresser. It had changed.

The faint red buds had filled in and had bloomed, spreading the crimson stain across the pure white cloth. As beautiful as it looked, it gave him a terrible sense of foreboding. It was…wrong somehow. He stood and walked over to the kimono, fingering the material.

It was unexpectedly soft, the material so light. It weighed nothing in his hands, but flowed across his fingers like water. It was like nothing he had ever come across. The kimono was almost unnatural in its beauty and simplicity. He had no mind to ask Shin where he had gotten the kimono from though. He just knew that it had something to do with Kagome. If it could help, he would ask nothing of the boy as it seemed that he was intent on remaining silent.

Sesshoumaru knew that Shin wished for Kagome's return as well though. Every fiber of that boy's body screamed it. He closed his eyes. He never should have tried to deprive him of her presence. In the end, it had only hurt them all the more. That had never been his intent.

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SM: Geez, another short chapter. This fic is filled with them. At least it's an update right? Weird thing is that this fic took some wild turn somewhere along the lines. The personalities are all screwy and repetitive. Oh well. This chappie is rough, and unbeta'd. When I'm less lazy (like that's ever gonna happen) I'll fix it up then. 'Til then, enjoy.


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